Today, Blue Origin is one of a handful of private rocket companies backed by billionaires, including Elon Musk's SpaceX and Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic. Just kidding, you’re only mature enough to shoot our enemies in the face.Given Bezos' early interest in space exploration and colonization, it's little surprise that he would go on to found the spaceflight startup Blue Origin in 2000. A few more things: you can vote, start a family, go to war, even buy a beer. It’s a pretty big responsibility, but you’ve earned it. “The main difference for you, between life yesterday and life tomorrow, is you can go to the bathroom whenever you want. These days, it seems like high school humor consists of nothing more than a few well-placed emojis, fleeting dance crazes, and more shareable memes than original jokes.īut in 2009, Bob’s Burgers actor and human beanbag chair Eugene Mirman gave a hilarious five-minute speech to the 2009 graduating class of Lexington High School that perfectly incorporated teenage angst and youthful energy. The speech is one of the wittiest and most honest of the bunch. Eugene Mirman - Lexington High School, 2009 And with all those houses, his upcoming 2017 flick co-starring Amy Poehler, “ The House,” is sure to be a winner.Ĭheck out the speech here 8. And I’m not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.”Īs of 2017, Ferrell is both a comedic powerhouse AND a household name. And I didn’t go to college here, and I don’t know if President Cowan knows, I didn’t go to any college at all, any college. “I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis you had to graduate from this school. Degeneres tackles topics such as sexuality, tragedy, and fame. Her speech to the so-called 2009 “Katrina” class at Tulane is both funny and poignant, goofy and incredibly sincere. I can say with 100% certainty that my 62-year old mother is catching up on Ellen clips at this very moment. From her work on her own ‘90s sitcom to the more recent Finding Dory, Degeneres has found popularity across a huge variety of age groups and demographics. Mononym queen and daytime sweetheart Ellen Degeneres has been crushing the comedy scene for almost four decades. Ellen Degeneres - Tulane University, 2009 But in his speech he claims, “If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I’d be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.”Ĭheck out the speech here 6. I wore Birkenstocks and smelled like a patchouli fart.”Īs most comedy geeks know, Conan went to Harvard, not Dartmouth. I wasn’t any clearer about my direction than the day I graduated high school. “I didn’t know who I was or what I was going to do with my life when I finished college. In her address, she covers her dreams of being on SNL, a roast-like description of herself as a hippie college student, and her identity crisis as a closeted thespian.
She certainly didn’t disappoint during her 2015 speech to the seniors of Tulane University in New Orleans, LA. Hilarious, versatile, and fresh, Maya Rudolph never disappoints. Ranked in no particular order, here are some of the wittiest speeches given at some of the weightiest ceremonies: 1. Hell, I still have trouble remembering whether the word “address” has two D’s or one. So what do they all have in common? Every speech acknowledges that we comedians are never truly qualified to do anything, let alone give a solemn commencement address. This list includes speeches given at a diverse group of schools including a few prestigious Ivy leagues, some southern gems, and even a high school in Lexington, Massachusetts ( Lynn’s hometown. So before “Regalia” makes it into this year’s list of top baby names, we wanted to share with you some of our favorite commencement speeches ever given by comedians. Nothing says springtime like graduation! And nothing says graduation like long, cliché speeches about “following your dreams” and stale jokes about bad dining hall food.īut we here at GOLD prefer a commencement speech with a bit more flair.
#YOUTUBE VALEDICTORIAN SPEECH CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL FREE#
(Plus there’s a 14-Day free trial! Woo!) Standup 101 courses start every month! It’s community + comedy at its very best. Check us out in GOLD Club, where we host classes, celeb Q&As, writers’ workshops, and so much more. GOLD Comedy is the online comedy destination for women and nonbinary folks! If you’re here, you’re probably interested in comedy.
0 kommentar(er)
